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You Are Who You Eat

(WARNING!  MATURE CONTENT!  Mention of nudity, sexual themes, and some profanity...  Also, no humans or animals were harmed in the making of this story...)

"Honey, your stupid package has arrived!"  Lisa calls from the front  door.  "... And you'd better hurry, cause I don't think I want it in my house anyways..."

"Coming dear, please don't hurt it!"  John hurriedly races into the living room.  Quickly grabbing the package off the floor he squeals like a schoolgirl.  "The Experimental Human Foodinator 3000!  The only one in the whole world and it's ours!"


"Lisa, you don't understand!  This is the greatest coolest most fantasticist thing... EVER!"


"Come on, we have got to try it!"  John places the slight larger than a microwave device on the table and activates it causing tiny light to blink across the surface.

"Woohooo... I still don't understand what this thing even DOES..."

"I told you, it's a human food processor!  Just select a food from the choices or let it decide for you, stick in a body part and viola!  It spits out the food of your choice!"  John selects cheeseburger just before jamming his right hand into the top bladed funnel and watches excitedly as it gets diced into a paste.

"Wooooooohoooo.... WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!!!"  Lisa's eyes grow wide as she watches her fiance shred his own hand within the machine.

"Haha, don't freak honey... it really doesn't hurt at all!"  Pulling his handless arm from the blending station he shows it to her.  "See?  Everything is fine!"

"Everything is not fine, your HAND IS OFF!"

"No it isn't!"

"What do you call that then..."  She point to his now handless appendage.

"Merely a flesh wound!"  John laughs as smoke begins to discharge from the other end of the EHF3000.  "Ahh, here we go!"

"John, what are... no... no freaking can't be..."  Lisa can only stare as the smoke clears, revealing the most delicious cheeseburger she has ever seen in her life.  "Did it really?..."

"Yep!  That's not even the coolest part... watch this!"  Quickly John devours the burger and as he does, little knobs begin to grow from the stub on his arm.  "Cool huh?"

"This is... sooooo... just... wow..."  Lisa can only stare dumbfounded as her future husband's hand literally regrows itself onto his arm.  After no more than a few moments, the burger is gone and her husband is waving at her with a stupid grin on his face.  "Okay, that...that's pretty cool... did it hurt?"

"Nope... Not at all!"  John laughs as he plays with his new fingers.  "You ready to give it a go?"

"HECK NO!  Not in a million years!"

"Oh come on... why not!"

"What... what if I fall in!  I could die!  I don't want to die as a cheeseburger!  And simply put, I don't trust you to not do something stupid..."

"That won't happen, I've got it set to turn you into an ice cream sundae!  So no worries there..."

"You know what I mean smartass..."  Lisa turns to leave the room.

Pleading with her, John hurries over her side and embraces her.  "No really, it's got fail safes against that!  Besides, I didn't marry an ice cream sundae... why would I want one now when I will have a wife as sexy as you?"  He gives her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Alright... but we test it first..."  Lisa slowly turn back towards the machine...  "But really, what ACTUALLY happens if something goes completely in?"

"Well..."  John blushes, "It uh, stores your spiritual essence in this little blue crystal like thing..."


"Well, all I gotta do is get someone else to eat the crystal and your soul takes over their body!  No harm done..."

"YES HARM DONE!  I don't want to lose my body!  I'm not going anywhere near that thing!  You don't even know if it actually works!"

"It worked before..."  John hangs his head, knowing he's losing the battle.  "Look, I'll find something else to test it on... you can just think on it for a while until you are convinced."

"Never gonna happen!"  Lisa walks out of the kitchen and into the living room, proceeding to turn on the television.

"We'll just see about that..." John smirks to himself as he heads out the door.

About an hour later, John comes back inside holding something in his arms as he attempts to slip back into the kitchen...  "Hey, what you got there?"  Lisa asks as she glances away from her evening programming.

"Uh... nothing..."

"No you definitely have somet.... NO... YOU ARE NOT TESTING THAT THING ON THE NEIGHBORS CAT!!!"

"I wouldn't dream of it!"  John just laughs as he raises the female calico over the machine.  "Snowflake is safe in my hands!...  Whoops ..."  John attempts to look horrified as the cat plummets into the whirling blades below...  "Can't say she's safe when she's not in my hands though... poor cat..."

"YOU MONSTER!!!"  Lisa pushes him out of the way as she races to the machine only to watch as the liquefied cat finishes its trip down the funnel and into the body of the machine.  "What is wrong with you!"  *SMACK!*  She lays a backhand across John's face.

"Ouch geez!  Stop hitting me... the cat is fine!"  John motions to the smoke pouring out of the machine.  "Look... here... see?"  He holds up a mightily scrumptious looking chocolate chip cookie.

"How is that "FINE"!  You pulverized the cat and turned it into a cookie!"

"No, the cookie is the essence of the cat... the cat is right here..."  John picks up a tiny blue crystal, about an inch long.  "Snowflake is right in there... perfectly preserved!  I told you this thing would work..."

"Oh yeah, and what do you do with Snowflake now that she has no body?  I think that since you killed her, she should get your body... sounds fair to me!"  Lisa simply stares at him with her arms crossed across her chest.

"I uh... don't think that... umm... I didn't really think about that..."  John stammers until suddenly  the doorbell interrupts their standoff.

"I'll get it..." Lisa groans, "I need a break from your stupidity anyways..."  

John listens from the kitchen as his wife opens the door...  "Oh, good evening Mr. Wilson! ... Oh you say you saw my husband pick up your cat?  Are you sure that's what you saw?  Hold on, I'll ask him...  HONEY!!!"

"Oh shit... oh shit...oh shit... what am I going to do?"  John paces back and forth through the kitchen, sweating beads.  "I'm going to go to prison... I'm such an idiot... I'm so... wait a minute..."  He eyes the cookie.  "No... no  I can't..."

"HONEY  would you come here please!"  His wife practically mocks him from the door.

"Crap... I can't... I... I..."  John holds the cookie to his mouth.  "...It's better than prison..."  With that, John stuff the cookie into his mouth, chewing and swallowing it in a matter of seconds...  Almost instantly, black, tan, and white fur erupt from his skin.  "Holy crap this is quick!"  John stares at his rapidly changing body is awe and horror as his spine rapidly extends into a healthy looking tail... "I'll be there in a second dear!  Just remember tha... *cough*  I...I mew!"  John barely manages to squeak out the final words before his vocal chords shut, rendering his voice useless for nothing more than "meows", purring, and the occasional hiss.

"My husband is such a joker..."  Lisa laughs as her mind turns slowly  towards curiosity and fear at the strangeness of her husband's response. "I'm sure he'll be here in a second..."

"Yeah... I don't think "husband" applies anymore dear..."  John thinks to himself as his gender quickly switches, making a name like "Snowflake" much more applicable.  Her new body cracks and shifts painfully as it quickly shrinks down to that of a common housecat.  As her new whiskers complete their protrusion from her growing muzzle, John slowly escapes from her tent-like clothing.

"He'll be along anytime now..."  Lisa tried to reassure her neighbor, the situation becoming more uncomfortable by the second when suddenly a small calico cat darts into the living room.

"Snowflake!"  Matt Wilson exclaims as the cat prances up to him and begins to nuzzle his leg.

"Sn...Snow...Snowflake?"  Lisa stares at the cat like she's seen a ghost...

"Uh... are you okay?" Wilson looks at her quizzically.

Lisa tries her best to put on a smile. "Uhh.... yeah... yeah I'm fine...  You have a great day!"

"Okay then, thanks again neighbor!  Have a good evening."  Wilson walks away, Snowflake following in his trail.

"Bye now!"  Lisa calls before shutting the door and taking a deep breath...  "Snowflake how... how did... Oh no...  John, please say you didn't... please please please!!!"  Scrambling into the kitchen, she is horrified to see her fiance's clothes lying limp on the floor...  "No! No...No...No... PLEASE NO!  JOHN!"  Tears beginning to stream down her face, she falls to her knees as her frantic calls fall on deaf ears.  "John... why... why...why... damnit why did you do that..."

*Meanwhile in the Wilson household*

Matt Wilson opens the from door to his house as Snowflake crosses between his legs and darts into the living room.   "Hey there Snowflake!"  Sarah Wilson, his uncommonly beautiful college aged daughter, rushes towards her pet and quickly scoops Snowflake into her arms.  Nuzzling her nose into the cat's, Sarah glances over at her dad,  "So... uh... why did they take her anyways?  Did they say?"

"Nope... I guess they just thought she was a stray or something."

*Or, because I wanted to turn it into a chocolate chip cookie...*  John laughs to herself as she pulls her muzzle off of Sarah's face, proceeding to bury it between her C cup breasts.  *Heh... gotta admit this cat thing has it's perks...*

"Snowflake!"  Sarah giggles as the cat's head rubs all around and between her chest.  "What are you doing you silly cat!"  She watches as Snowflake momentarily removes her head from her bosom and looks at her curiously... before burying her head right back into Sarah's fleshy canyon.  "Alright kitty... seriously... off the boobs..."  Sarah laughs as she drops Snowflake to the floor.  "Master needs to rest..."

Landing on all fours, John simply laughs to herself, "Dang, cat's do always land on their feet!"  Watching Sarah lie on the couch, she prances over to the edge of the couch and leaps onto a nearby cushion.  "Kitty needs to sleep too..."  John grins as she crawls over Sarah's stomach, "and this kitty needs a pillow... or two!"  With that, John plops over onto her master's stomach and rests her head between Sarah's breasts yet again.

"Snowflake... what are...fine..."  Sarah simply grins as she scratches her cat between the ears before the both of them drift off into a deep slumber.

"What am I gonna do... What am I gonna do!"  Lisa paces back and forth through the kitchen.  "You stupid machine, you killed my husband!"  She stares down the EHF3000 as it just sits there, practically mocking her.  "I can't just go over there and ask for the cat back... and I sure as heck can't tell them the my fiance IS their cat... OH WAIT!  Maybe I could adopt a cat, take over it's body and then break John outta there!  YEAH!  And then we come back here and... and... and... live happily ever after as... as... cats......idiot... shit... What am I gonna do!"  Lisa groans as she angrily kicks John's clothes across the floor.  "Screw it... no guts, no glory!"  With that, she grabs the EHF3000 from the counter and marches out the front towards the Wilson's house... "I'm getting my man back one way or another!"


Matt opens the door to his house to reveal a very distraught looking Lisa standing with her head down and her hands between her legs,  "Uhhh... can I help you?"

Between fake sobs Lisa looks up, "I... I... I think when your cat was over at our place it ate my engagement ring on accident!"

"Who, Snowflake?  I don't think so, she's a very well behaved cat... I leave stuff all over the place, if she ate stuff like that she'd be dead by now!  Hahaha"

"You have no idea..." Lisa mumbles under her breath.

"What was that?"

"N....nothing!  Still, my ring is gone and I'd like to take it to the vet for an X-Ray to see we can find anything... Could I please borrow her for a while?"

"Well, why don't you go home and see if you can find it... You probably just left it somewhere, and as you can see, Snowflake is sleeping with my daughter right now so... I'd hate to wake them up... If you still can't find it, give me a call!"

Lisa peers inside at the sleeping pair, "Does Snowflake usually sleep on your daughter's boobs like that?"

"Not usually, but you have to admit it's pretty cute isn't it?"

"Yeah.... cute..." Lisa face turns slightly red at the fact that her husband is sleeping on another woman's breasts...  "Anyways, thanks Matt... I'll let you know if I find it!"

"Good luck!"  Matt waves to his neighbor and turns to head back inside...  Before his second step even reaches the ground, a strange funnel is shoved over his head from "someone" behind him.  A faint "I'm sorry" can be heard just before the contraption whirrs to life and begins grinding his consciousness into a gooey paste.

With her hands at the sides of the machine, Lisa begins forcing it downward across the rest of Matt's body.  The machine grinding loudly, it slowly passes down his shoulders towards his stomach.  After a few more seconds, his torso has completely disappeared into oblivion, only to be joined by his legs moments later.  As she funnel makes contact with the concrete pavement, Lisa flips it back over as grins as Matt's few remains whirlpool into the depths of the machine.  A few beeps and a lot of smoke later, three large fully cooked sausages, the tattered remains of some clothing, and a small blue crystal pop into her hands...  "Sausages?  You have to be kidding me... "  Lisa laughs to herself as she drops the crystal to the ground and grinds it into a fine powder with her foot.  "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that you annoying jackass.  So long!"  Lisa waves at Mark's remains as the wind carries them away.  "Don't worry John, I'm coming..."  Lisa whispers to herself as she inserts the first sausage between her lips and takes a large bite out of it...

Instantly after the first bite, Lisa can feel  the juices attacking her femininity.  A surge of power flows into her muscles as they begin to bulge and tone.  As another juicy bite runs down her throat, her blond hair changes color to a deep brown and shortens into a long buzz cut.  Her face slowly takes on a more rugged appearance.  As her lips lose their lusciousness, she takes another succulent bite which sends her chest into a frenzy.  Her perky breasts lose their definition as their fatty insides convert into a less pronounced muscular pectoral.  Finishing off the first sausage, she breaks into a coughing fit as her vocal chords loosen to accommodate Lisa's new voice.  "Whew... one down two to go!"  Lisa laughs in her new baritone voice.  "This is sooooo freaking weird..."

Inserting the next sausage between her lips causes her body to begin to grow into her new many proportions.  Her legs and torso lengthen until they proportionally support her new 6 ft height.  A tingle in her expanding feet reminds her to flip off her heels before they become ruined from her sudden grown spurt.  Another bite and hair erupts on her formerly shaved arms and legs.  As she watches her feminine features fade, her beautiful tan begins to fade to a pasty white starting at her legs and slowly creeping its way up her body.   Licking her fingers after inserting the final piece between into her maw, her delicately manicured nails lose their sheen and polish.  Her feet and hands finally growing into their more masculine sizes, the transformation slows to a half once again.

"What's left?"  Lisa inspects herself, "I look exactly like him!  There's gotta be somethi... oh... right..."  Running her hands over her groinal region, she finds herself to still be a fully functioning woman.  Eyeing the final sausage with disgust because of what it represents, Lisa begins to feel sick to her stomach...  "I don't think I can do this!"  She sighs as she simply stares at the sausage lying in her hand, waiting to be eaten.  

"D... dad?"  Sarah walks out the front door rubbing her eyes groggily.  "Who was at the door?"

"Uhhh... no one... go back to bed!"  Lisa nervously mutters as her mind scrambles frantically to get a hold on the situation.

"What?"  Sarah asks, blinking wildly trying to adjust her eyes to the sunlight.  "And why are you wearing women's clothing?"

"I uh... I'm not... you are just tired... go back to sleep!"

"I know a sports bra when I see one dad... I'm not an idiot..."  Sarah begins to giggle, "Oh!  and sausage!  I love sausage, where did  you get that?"

"Our neighbor made it for us, she came over to apologize for the cat thing..."  Lisa feels a bit of relief from coming up with at least one acceptable excuse.

"Well, are you gonna eat it?"  Sarah eyes it hungrily, "I'm kind of hungry..."

"Trust me, you don't want this..."  

"Why not?"  Sarah walks toward her father, intent on getting her prize.  "And our neighbors always make the best food!"

"Cause... I said so!  That's why!"

"Dad, that excuse hasn't worked since I was twelve!  Seriously, if you aren't going to eat it... then give it to me!  Please!"

"You want it?  Fine... Here take it..."  Lisa pretends to hand her the sausage before dropping it to the ground and "accidentally" stomping on it... twenty times...  "Whoops!"

"You suck dad!  What the heck is your problem!"  Sarah storms back into the house, grabbing Snowflake on her way to her bedroom.  "You are such a dick!"  She yells back before slamming the door to her room.

"Actually... I'm not..."  Lisa laughs to herself as she lifts the EHF3000 from the ground and carries it inside.  Looking back she grins at the smashed sausage on the grass, "I'm still a pussy..."

"Can you believe that guy!"  Sarah flops onto her bed after slamming the door behind her, Snowflake landing by her side.  "Sometimes... I just wanna... gah!"  A pillow flies across the room and smacks into the far wall.  Suddenly, a furry being nuzzles her stomach causing her to look down and smile.  "I've always got you huh Snowflake..."

*Beep beep boo doodely doo... and other random annoying noises...*  Sarah's cellphone sparks to life in her pocket.  

"You got Sarah, speak your peace!"

"Sarah!  It's Destiny, we still on for breakfast tomorrow morning?"

"You know it!  Just beware of my dad... he's being a total bitch..."

"Don't you mean... douche?"

"Haha... yeah that too... So, I'll see you in the morning right?"

"Yep, I'll be there!  Peace girl, Destiny out..."

Falling back on her bed, Sarah flips her phone closed and tosses it to the floor.  Picking up Snowflake, she gently lays the cat on her stomach, proceeding to scratch her between the ears.  "Well little girl I guess I'll see you in the morning!"  Almost as if on cue, the small cat curls up and plunges her head once again between Sarah's breasts before closing its eyes for it's nightly hibernation.  Laughin softly at the feline's antics Sarah's head relaxes upon her pillow...  "Good night you silly girl..."  Sarah manages to mutter before drifting to sleep herself.

"Morning sleepyhead!"  Lisa calls to the messy haired girl stumbling her way into the kitchen.  As she stands over the stove, Lisa strirs up the bacon and eggs each cooking in their own separate skillets.

"Are... are you cooking bacon?"  Sarah groggily rubs her eyes.  "You never cook bacon!"

"Well, today is a special occasion!"  Lisa grins at her daughter, "This is celebration food!"

"O...kay...  So, what are we celebrating?"  Sarah asks as she sits down at the kitchen table.

"Why today is "I have the most beautiful daughter in the world day!"  I thought you knew that..."  Lisa calls over to Sarah as she begins plate the bacon and eggs for her daughter...

"Hahaha, thanks dad... and you did make enough for Destiny too right?  You remember that she is coming over for breakfast in about thirty minutes?"

"How could I forget!"  Lisa laughs nervously as she sticks the plate in the oven to keep it warm.  Placing more bacon and eggs in the skillets she begins to cook once again.



"I'm sorry about our fight last night... it was stupid..."

"No worries, all is forgiven... I was being an idiot, I don't know what came over me."  Lisa smiles at her daughter, "But could you do me a favor and feed the cat?  I just bought this cool new machine I want to try out, it's super convenient.  It's already turned on, it keeps the milk refrigerated.  All you have to do is place your foot onto the little funnel on the top and milk will flow into the bowl until you pull away.  Give it a shot!"

"Really?  Sounds kind of cool!"  Still barefoot from her slumber, Sarah walks over to the EHF300, completely oblivious to the fate that was about to befall her.  "Like this?"  She calls over to her dad as she gently places her toes into the funnel.  Quickly the machine activates, painlessly chopping off half of Sarah's foot and moments later squirting a few bursts of cold milk into the small pet bowl sitting on the floor.  "That is so awesome!"  Sarah squeals as she inserts her foot further into the machine, watching gleefully as more milk spilt into the bowl.  Removing her foot from the funnel her smile quickly changes into a shriek of pure horror.  "Ahhhh!  Where is my foot!  It cut my foot off!"  Sarah is mesmerized at the stub that has become of her once fully healthy right leg.  Trying to grab her appendage, she begins to lose her balance and instinctively sets her leg back down... right into the funnel of the EHF3000.  With a new vigor, the machine begins grinding Sarah's leg causing her to fall farther and farther into the machine.  "Daddy!  Please help me!"  She shrieks as the processor reaches her thighs and continues to suck her into the abyss.  "Daddy Hurry!  Please!  Get me out of here!"  Both hands rasied, she reaches for her father whom had finally made it to her side...

"It's too late sweetheart, but I'm sure that Snowflake will love you!"  Lisa laughs as she places her hand on Sarah's head...

"WHAT!  NO!"  Sarah pleads as her father begins pressing on her head, quickly speeding up her descent.  She could now feel her stomach entering the swirling blades...  "NO!  PLEASE NO!"  She continues to scream as her arms flair wildly in the air, grasping at her father.  "NOOOOOOoooooo..."  Her screams come to an abrupt halt as her lungs are shredded and begin their milky conversion within the machine.

"Goodbye!"  Lisa begins to wave as the girls neck, arms, and head begin their trip into the violent blades.  "I'll see you again soon!"  Moments later, the remains of Sarah's outstretched arms and hands also disappear leaving no physical or mental trace of the girl that had been standing there only about a minute prior...  Bending over, Lisa gathers the light blue crystal and bowl of milk off the floor before calling out to her finace.

"Snowflake!  Breakfast!"

Light footsteps pattering down the hallway, the tan cat rushes into the kitchen.  However, attempting to come to a stop  on tile was harder than John had anticipated as she loses her footing and flops onto the floor, coming to a sliding halt.

"Haha, you hungry girl?"

"Mreow!"  *You have no idea*  John thinks to herself as she scans the kitchen for her bowl.

"Got some fresh cold milk waiting for you right here..."  Lisa places a the large bowl containing Sarah's remains on the floor.  "Drink up and enjoy yourself!"

Scurrying over to the bowl, John wastes no time lapping up the milky goodness inside.  As the cold liquid chills her throat John begins to drink faster, enjoying every droplet settling on her tongue.  Quickly, John's hind legs begin to react, the hair on them beginning to recede into her skin.  As more droplets enter her stomach, John's hind legs begin to shrink, cracking and contorting to take on a more human appearance.  As her legs grow weaker from their transformation, John is forced into a sitting position but thinks nothing else of it as she enjoys her breakfast.

Fueling her hunger, the transformation quickens as her legs shrink to under an inch long and her rear paws lengthen into miniature human feet.  Just as her feet finish, a tingle runs throughout the rest of her body as the transformation rushes to take hold.  As John's tongue continues to bring the white substance to her mouth, the rest of her fur vanishes into thin air.  Slowly, the rest of her catlike body begins to deflate to match her newly formed legs.  As she feeds, John's shrinking body brings her face closer and closer to her breakfast until...  "Mew!"  Shaking her head, John raises a paw to wipe the milk from her nose.  Attempting to return to her meal, John notices something is off as she can no longer reach over the edges of the bowl!  "Mreow!"  She calls out in confusion before she turns her head around for the shock of her life.  Her body was hairless, tiny, and growing smaller with every second!  It wasn't long before her front legs quickly thinned out and her paws shrunk into miniscule hands.  As she lifts herself onto all four of her arms and legs, John finds that she can no longer reach the top of the bowl!  

Taking a break from her feeding, the transformation continues to catch up to the churning liquefied Sarah churning in her digestive system.  "Yip!"  She squeals as her hairless tail quickly retreats back into her body.  Meanwhile, her ass grows more feminine and tight as it repositions itself to allow for bipedal movement.  Working her way onto her wobbly legs, John's chest begins to burn as her feline teats all begin to migrate and merge into a pair of perky miniature C-Sized breasts.   A few painful cracks later, John's arched back straightens into a perfect posture as her arms and legs realign themselves in their respective joint sockets.  Taking the opportunity to cover herself with her arms, the naked girl blushes as she notices her reflection gleaming at her off the reflective silver pet dish.  *How the heck did this happen,*  John wonders to herself as she stares at her new figure.  She couldn't be more than three inches tall, not to mention still having a hairless catlike face still sitting upon her gorgeous human body!  "Mreow!"  She calls out in an attempt to speak, but finds it, after a few coughing fits, to be impossible.

*This body... I know I've seen this body before!*  John continues to stare and admire her reflection until... *Sarah!  The milk is Sarah!  But why would her dad do this... OH NO!*  It was at this moment that John remembers the other human in the room.  "Mew!"  She squeals as she quickly retreats away from the gigantic human watching her from the counter.

"Hahaha!"  The male chuckles,  "Don't worry Snowflake, it's me!"

"Mew!"  John's voice barely carries back to the ears of the mysterious acting guy.  Her ears twitch a little as her head pokes out from behind the leg of the china cabinet she is currently taking refuge behind.  

"It's Lisa... you know, your fiance?"  He walks over towards the miniature cat human,  extending his hand down to the floor.  "I've come to get you back!"

"Mreow..."  John places her hands on her hips as she offers Lisa a smug grin...

"Oh, don't give me that..."  Lisa laughs as John climbs onto her hand.  "I used your stupid machine only because it was the only way to get you back..."  As John sits on her palm, Lisa raises her off the floor, possibly a little too quickly as John's nails grasp firmly into her skin.  "Ouch!"  Lisa gasps as she instinctively shakes her hand, causing John to fall from her grasp and land with a splash in the milk bowl below...  "Oh SHIT!"  Lisa quickly kneels by the pet dish, "I'm so sorry, are you okay!"

"Mew..."  John makes her way upright, giving her fiance a look of pure disgust as the cold milk drips off her soaked body.  After  wading around in the chest high liquid, John attempt to leave the bowl but finds her new arms too weak to lift herself out...

"I'm glad you are okay but hey, just stay in there for now... you need to finish it all anyways right?"  Lisa laughs as the catgirl continues to try and fail to lift herself from the bowl.

*When I get outta here...*  John makes a mental note to herself as she bends over and begins to drink from the liquid surrounding her.  As the transformation reengages, she screams in pain as the muzzle on her face pushes back into her skull, leaving behind a small nose and thin feminine lips.   The transformation proceeds up her head causing her catlike ears flatten, becoming one with her scalp as a few seconds later petite human ears sprout from the sides of her head.  As long waves of brunette hair slither from her scalp proceeding to cascade over her shoulders, her facial transformations complete.

As she continues her drinking, the milk finally chooses to focus on her size.  John's entire body tingles and burns as she begins the fastest growth spurt of her life.  Six inches... ten inches... eleven inches... twelve inches... and eventually slowing to a halt do to her lack of drinking, John takes the opportunity to clamor out of the pet dish, still dripping with milk.  Leaning over the edge she begins to drink once more.  Her body reacting to the transformation, she has to stop as her muscles and bones begin to ache.  Falling to the floor, she curls into the fetal position as her body expands once again.  Lisa stares in awe as John's body more than doubles in size over the course of a few obviously painful seconds.  As the pain lessens, the girl begins to cough uncontrollably for a few second before finally catching her breath...  


"Hey, you can talk!"

"E...ev...evidently..."  John manages to spit out between heavy breaths.  "Wow... that hurt so much... and my voice is so strange..."

"You'll be okay, just give me a second... be right back!"  Lisa darts off to the bathroom before returning with a blue bath towel.  Throwing it over the naked girl, Lisa proceeds to rub the towel vigorously, simultaneously removing beads of milk from her skin while warming her.  "Is that better?"

"Yeah, I think so..."  John looks up at her, smiling.  "Thank you for coming for me..."

"Of course!"  Lisa laughs as she notices Johns still catlike eyes, "But you need to finish your milk, and no complaining, that's an order young lady!  You have company visiting this morning, and you need to make yourself presentable."

"Yes daddy..."  John laughs as she lifts the pet bowl to her lips and begins to gulp the milk with vigor.  The last droplets entering her lips, John quickly licks the bowl clean before setting it back on the floor.  As the milk enters her digestive system, John painfully curly back into a fetal position as her three foot figure begins to expand once again.  "AHHHH!!!"  She creams as her body uniformly expands.  Four feet... four and a half... five... five and a half... five foot six... seven...... Tears streak down John's face as the painful transformation slows.  With one final convulsion of growth, John's body stops expanding,  maxing her height at five foot ten inches.  Slowly rising to a stand, John whips her wavy brunette hair out of her face.  Looking herself over, she can't help but gasp in shock at her beauty.  "Ummm... wow..."

"No kidding..."  Lisa looks John over, clearly jealous of her gorgeous body.  "I want one of those..."

"Well, you can't have it... it's mine!"  John sticks her tongue out in a flirtacious manner.  "It's gonna take some getting used to, but it's better than what you got stuck with!"

"Yeah, I hate this stupid body... not to mention I still have woman parts..."

"WHAT!"  John can't help but laugh.  "How did that happen?"

"...I couldn't finish eating him... not with knowing what would happen if I did..."  Lisa hangs her head, clearly ashamed in herself.  "And now I'm some kind of hideous freak..."

"How you do think I feel?  I mean... I have BOOBS!"

"I WISH I had boobs..."  Lisa continues to stare at herself.  "I can't wait until I get out of this body..."

"Yeah, I know what you... wait... WHAT?"

"I said that I can't wait until I get out of this body!"

"What do you mean, you can't wait to get out... You can't keep killing people just because you don't feel pretty, it's not right!  We are done, this is it... I'm stuck like this, you are stuck like that... We live out our lives like we are..."  

"No way!  NEVER!  That's easy for you to say, you are a beautiful college aged lady.  I'm not living out the rest of my life as some thirty eight year old ugly guy with a vagina!"

"I understand your feelings on the matter, but take a second and look at the predicament we find ourselves in...  Our old bodies are gone, surely the police will get involved in that eventually and start searching.  If we want to stay together, why not just do so as father and daughter instead as husband and wife?  I know it's not marriage or anything, but at least we will be able to live out the rest of our lives in a somewhat ordinary fashion.  Even if we aren't always together..."

"Yeah, but... but..."  Lisa hangs her head in defeat.  "Yeah, you are right... SHIT!"  She exclaims as she punches the wall in frustration.  "Just go and get dressed, your friend will be here soon... and breakfast is almost ready..."

"Sure thing daddy!"  John giggles, slightly mockingly.

"Shut up... or you are so grounded young lady..."  A smile work its way onto Lisa's face as she returns back to finishing breakfast.

Upstairs, John reaches into her closet pulling out a pair of jeans, bra, and a black tank top.  Throwing them all onto her bed, she grabs a pair of white ladies panties and slips them over her slender legs.  Next she delicately slips the bra over her chest and reaches for the clasp behind her to... to... to...  "Well damn it.."

Lisa turns as the sound of her daughter heading down the stairs echoes through the kitchen.  Watching John enter the room in her panties and a bra dangling from her chest, she begins to laugh.  "Having trouble?"  Lisa chuckles behind a goofy grin.

"Whoever invented bra straps should be shot..."  John mutters as she turns her back to Lisa.  Feeling the bra tighten around her breasts, John turns and hugs her former fiance.  "Thanks..."

"You know, you are going to have to learn how to do that for yourself someday..."

"Shut up..."

"Holy shit..."  Lisa gasps as she finally takes notice of John's eyes.  "You... uh... you... still..."

"What the heck is wrong with you?"  John asks, Lisa's change in behavior starting to worry her.

"...uh... cat's eyes..."  Lisa manages to spit out as she points at John's face.

"WHAT?"  John quickly runs to a bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror...  "AHHHHHHH!!!!"  Starting back at her is a pair of blue irises surrounding slitted pupils.  "What the hell!  I drank it all!"

"Actually you didn't..."  Lisa walks into the bathroom, holding a slightly mild laden towel.  "I soaked some of it off of you when I dried you off... I wasn't thinking... I'm so sorry..."

"WHAT!  This!  This!  This is all your fault!  You dropped me in that bowl on purpose!"

"No I... I didn't mean to!"

"Yes you did!  I can't beli..."  *DING DONG*  "...what was that?"

"Doorbell... shit... you are going to have to answer it... She's your friend and I don't know her name!"

"I'm half naked!  And I don't know her name either!"


"Just go answer it!"  Lisa pushes John towards the door and runs into the kitchen, proceeding to plate the bacon and eggs for their guest.

Just as John reaches for the doorknob, her stomach begins to gurgle, causing her to groan in discomfort.  "Great, just great..."  John clutches her midsection as she open the door...

"Hey!!!... uh... Sarah..."  Destiny looks at her half naked friend standing in the doorway.  "You just get up or something?"

"N... no... just had a busy morning..."  John tries to laugh it off, but her stomach is growing more painful by the second.  "Unnngh"  She doubles over in pain, grabbing the door frame for support.

"Are you okay?"  Destiny puts her arms am John's back, kneeling down as to look her friend in the face.

John turs away slightly as her head begins to spin... "Yeah I just need a sec... bleeaaaaah..."  Suddenly, white vomit erupts from her mouth and onto the kitchen floor...  "I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling ver... bleaaaaahhh"  John bends over further as the milk and digestive fluids stream from her mouth.

"Holy crap!  Sarah is that milk?"

"Y...yeah..."  John manages to gasp between breaths.

"Why would you drink milk?  You know you are lactose intolerant!"

"I... I am?"  John quickly makes her way to a nearby trash can and sticks her head inside, Destiny hot on her heels.  "Blleeeaah... cough... cough..."  

"I'm with ya... just let it out..."  Destiny gently pats her friend on the back.  Moments later  John pulls her head from the trash can.  "Feeling any bet..." Destiny's sentence stops short as she stares in shock at the new appendages that had suddenly appeared on her best friend's head.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh... uh... you...uh..."  Destiny tries to put a sentence together, but instead simply mumbles as her hands instinctively go to John's head to feel the light brown fur covered ears that had simply sprouted out of nowhere...  "R...real... real ears... you... you have... uh..."

"What?"  John raises her own hands to her head...  "Oh no..."  She was regressing!  "I have to keep from throwing up... I need... bleeeeaaah..."  John's head goes into the trash can once more as the milk that turned her human now enters the depths of the waste basket.

Still in shock, Destiny begins to back up, her eyes still fixed on her best friend.  As she watches, a small patch of brow fur can be seen forming at the base of John's spine.  

"AHHHH!!!"  John squeals in pain as her hands move to apply pressure at the base of her spine.  "It hurts!"  Within moments, a small tail erupts from the base of her spine though her hands.  "No!  Ahhh! No!"  John tries desperately to push the new appendage back into her body but it's of no use.  The tail continues to crawl out of her body as the brown fur adorns it's surface.  As it finally slows to a stop at three and a half feet, her new tail begins to swish uncontrollably...

"Sarah... what is going on?  You are turning into a cat!"  Destiny squeals as she watches her friends new tail sway in the air.

"Umm... I... I can explain..."  Sarah tries to calm her down when suddenly, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!!!"

"AHHH!  PUT ME DOWN!"  Destiny squeals as she is suddenly grabbed from behind and hoisted into the air.  "Mr. Wilson, what are you doing!"  She pleads for answers as she is carried towards the corner of the room...

"No!  LISA NO!"  John screams as Lisa turns the output dial on the EHF3000 and activates it.  "I said no more killing!  She hasn't done anything!  Don't do this!"

"She knows too much...  Plus, this is my one opportunity to get a real body of my own!"  Lisa shouts over the sound of Destiny's pleads for help.

"No!  You can't do this!  I won't let you kill anyone else!"  John runs towards Destiny as her struggling feet are forced into the machine, which immediately begins grinding them to a paste.

"Stay out of this please!  It's just one more... then we can really be together again!"  Lisa pleads with John as she hold her back from getting to the struggling girl...

"PLEASE HELP ME!"  Destiny's desperate pleads ring throughout the kitchen.  Reaching for John, her hands only grasp air, a few mere inches from reaching her savior.  Struggling further, she tries to escape the machine, but finds it to be sucking her inside!  As she stares down at her body, she creams in terror as her thighs begin their trip into the abyss of swirling blades.

"No!  Lisa please!"  John screams as Lisa holds her back from the struggling girl.  "I'm sorry, I can't reach you!"  John calls out to Destiny as she desperately tries to save her.  

"Don't look, it'll all be over soon..." Lisa laughs as she turns John around and traps her arms tight between their two bodies.

"Lisa don't!"  John calls out as she struggles, until a flash of genius enter her mind...  "HEY, GRAB MY TAIL!"

Almost as if it is happening in slow motion, Destiny reaches for the extended appendage, her fingers gripping it as if her life depended on it... which ... coincidentally it did...  "GOT IT!"

"NO!!!"  Lisa shouts as she yanks John away from the girl, but it was too late...

"YEOW!"  John screams in pain as her tail is used as a rope to yank the desperate girl from her untimely death.  As she lands on top of Lisa, John turns to see the top half of Destiny still grasping onto her tail, but still very much alive!  Taking advantage of the momentary confusion, John punches Lisa in the side of the head, stunning her temporarily.  "Please let go, you are cutting off my circulation!"  John calls back to the girl still clutching her tail, obviously still frightened out of her wits...  "Thank you!"  John, sighs as her tail is released and she rises to her feet.  Quickly, she scampers over to the EHF3000 and grabs the double cheeseburger that had just escaped the receiving bay.  "Hurry, eat this!"  John thrusts the burger into Destiny's hands before turning back to lift the machine from the ground.

"Uhh... o...kay"  Destiny just stares at the sandwich in her hands, obviously still in shock from her entire lower body getting sliced off moments prior.

She only had a few seconds before Lisa would regain control over her senses and John knew it.  As Lisa struggles to her feet, John races to her side and raises the EHF3000 over her head.  "I'm sorry... But I can't risk you killing anyone else!"  With that, she thrusts the machine downward with all her might...

The haze leaving her senses, Lisa has just enough time to react to the funnel coming down upon her head.  Getting her hands on the edges of the metallic surface of the funnel, she lifts with all her might.  "You aren't getting rid of me that easily!"

"No!  I won't let you kill anyone else!"  John continues to try and force the machine over his former finace.

"After I finish off you two, there won't be a need!"  Her strength clearly superior, Lisa laughs evilly as she slowly moves the machine from over her head and over toward John's.

"Oh shit!  Please no!"  John pleads as she tries desperately to keep the funnel from dropping onto her head, but she was failing.  Inch by inch, Lisa's greater strength forces impending doom upon the scared catgirl...


"Miss me much?"  Destiny laughs as she lands a punch to the back of Lisa's head, knocking her out cold.  "Yeah, sleep well bitch..."  She mocks the unconscious human, proceeding to spit upon it's face.

"You... you are okay!"  John gasps in relief as she throws the EHF3000 to the ground.

"Thanks to you!"  Denstiny pulls John into tight hug.  "I owe you my life, whoever you are..."

"The name is John... and ditto on the life saving thing!"  Breaking the embrace, John walks over to the EHF3000.  "Look, I know you have questions and I will answer everything in a second... But first, care to help me with something?"

"I thought you'd never ask!"  Destiny laughs as she lifts Lisa's feet and positions them over the machine's funnel, before letting them go and watching the process begin.  "Good riddance!"  

The two stand and watch as the unconscious human gets sucked further and further into the funnel.  Once Lisa's waste enters the blades, John turns to Destiny.  "Before you ask, I am not Sarah... My name is John, and person currently getting chopped to bits there is my former fiance Lisa."

"You knew her?"

"Yeah... or at least I thought I did..."  John watches as Lisa's neck begins to enter the machine.  "I only ended up in this body because she put your friend into the machine and fed her to me... I didn't even know that it was her at first."

"She... killed Sarah?  This doesn't make any sense!"

"Well... kinda..."  John makes her way to the counter top and removes a small blue crystal from it.  "This here is Sarah.  She is currently being stored in this crystal..."

"I still don't get it..."

"Okay, let me put it like this...  When you put something into the machine, it processes it into food.  If you eat it, you grow or become whatever it is that got processed into the food..."

"You mean like when I regrew my body because I ate that cheeseburger?"

"Exactly...  But, if you get entirely processed it stores your soul in this little blue crystal... like this one here..."

"So... that little crystal is Sarah's soul?"

"Yes, that's exactly right!  And if I were to eat it, Sarah would come back to life in this body..."  Taking a moment, John thinks about what she just said... It was still possible to make this right, and she would do it... even if it meant sacrificing herself...

"Oh..."  Destiny looks back at the EHF3000, spotting a triple cheeseburger and small blue crystal sitting on the floor she picks them both up.  "So... if I were to eat this... I would essentially become a guy?"

"Pretty much yeah..."

"No thank you!"  Destiny laughs as she tosses the burger in the trash along with John's vomit from earlier.  "And this little crystal thingy is the soul of your fiance that tried to kill us?"

"Yep... Do with her as you please..."  John walks over to the EHF3000, proceeding to jump on it a few times, causing to it crack and split into a few large non repairable pieces.  "Now that  I've taken care of that, before I go I need to ask you a favor."  

"Where are you going?"  Destiny asks as she drops the small crystal down the garbage disposal, proceeding to flick on the switch...  

"Just... promise me that if for some reason I'm still alive that you will take care of me..."

"You saved my life, count on it!  But, I still don't understand what you mean by... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"  Destiny watches as John lifts the crystal to her mouth...

"Goodbye beautiful, say hi to your friend for me..."  John says with a wink before dropping the crystal into her mouth and swallowing it whole...  A soft glow emanates from the catgirl before she drops to the floor limp...

Running up to her side, Destiny takes a hold of the girl's head and rests it in her lap.  "John!  John are you okay?  John can you hear me!"

"Unnn... owwww..."  Sarah groggily opens her eyes.  "Wha... what happened?"

"John!  Are you okay?"

"Who... who is John?"  Sarah looks up at Destiny confused.

"Sarah!"  Destiny squeals in delight.  "Sarah it's you!  It's really you!"  She embraces her best friend tightly.

"Ummm..'s me... are you feeling okay?"  Sara returns the embrace.  "You are acting really weird..."

"Yeah... yeah I'm fine!  It's just so good to have you back!"  Destiny stops the embrace to wipe some tears of joy from her eyes.

"O...okay... now you are really starting to freak me out... a lot..."  Sarah gets to her feet, "Even more so than the fact that I'm half naked for some reason..."

"Yeah, that's nothing though..."  Destiny begins to laugh through her tears, "Check out your tail!"

"My... what?"  Sarah turns and almost faints at the sight of the thing waving uncontrollably behind her.  Taking her hands, she grabs the snakelike appendage and feels it all the way up to its connection with her back...    "R...r...real?"  Almost going into shock, Sarah races from the kitchen and into the bathroom...

"Sarah, wait up!  Don't!"  Denstiny calls out after her best friend...


"Oh boy..."  Destiny facepalms as her friend runs back into the kitchen.

"What the heck happened to me!"  Sarah begins screaming uncontrollably.  "Why do I look like some kind of perveted cat freak... thing!  My eyes are all... my ears are... I HAVE A FREAKING TAIL!"  Breaking into tears Sarah collapses to the ground.  "My life is over... I... I can't go out there like this!"

"Actually, you just got your life back... Thanks to John..."

"Who is John!"  Sarah shouts before a extreme coughing fit overcomes her.  Brining her hands to her mouth, she violently coughs into them... one...two...five...six...ten times before a small blue crystal dislodges from her throat and flies onto the floor...

"I can't believe it!"  Destiny walks over to the crystal, gently lifting it from the tile.  "This!  This is John!"

"John is a little crystal that I coughed up?"

"Yes! Well... kinda?"  Destiny blushes at the stupidity of her answer.  "Look, just get dressed and I'll explain everything in the car... I have a promise to keep!"

"I can't go out there looking like this!"

"Oh come on, just tuck your tail in your pants... and wear a hat or something!  I'll be waiting in the car..."

Minutes later, Sarah opens the passenger door and sits next to her friend, "Okay, now care to explain to me what the hell is going on!"

"It's a long story..."


Pulling back into the garage, Destiny looks over at Sarah,  "See, that wasn't so bad was it?"

Sarah brings her new female snowy white kitten to her face and nuzzles it's nose...  "No, it wasn't that bad, was it my little Snowflake!"

"Hey, give her here, I still have one little detail to take of..."  Destiny carefully grabs the kitten from Sarah.  "Okay little girl, open wide!"  Placing the slightly large crystal in the kitten's mouth, Destiny is relieved as the soul crystal quickly dissolves and runs down it's throat.  "Welcome back John!"  Destiny smiles as she places a kiss on the kitten's forehead.

"We aren't calling the kitten John..."

"I know, I was just hoping to make the transition a little easier for him... geez, give me a break!"

"Mew!"  The little kitten perks up as John's conscious finally gets a grip on her new body, her tail beginning to wave violently in excitement.

"Alright John, if that's you... sit!"  Destiny commands as the two girls watch in anticipation.  Slowly, the little kitten works it's way off Destiny's leg and sits on the edge of the car seat...  "It's him!"  Destiny exclaims as she high fives her best friend.

"This is so cool!  Snowflake come here!"  Sarah calls out, watching as the kitten clumsily works its way over to her and up onto her legs.  "Oh my gosh, this is going to be the easiest potty training ever!"  Sarah laughs... that is until...  "HEY!  WHAT THE CRAP!"

"Mew!"  John laughs as she clearly enjoys herself as she makes a puddle in Sarah's lap.  

"Ahh!"  Sarah shouts as she tosses the peeing kitten off of her and over to Destiny.  Furious, she watches as the kitten stops her leak just in time... not getting a single drop on her friend... "Stupid cat..."

"Hahahaha!  Such a good little girl you are!"  Destiny strokes Snowflake as they exit the car.  "Welcome home!"

John can feel the tile under her tiny paws as she reenters the kitchen.  "I'm gonna go change out of these clothes..."  She hears Sarah exclaim in frustration as the human heads up to her room.  She was about to explore further when suddenly a pair of hands scoops her up from behind...

"Just like I promised..."  Destiny scratches the kitten between the ears.  "I'll take care of you always!"  

Clearly, they were headed towards the couch.  She might be stuck as a cat for the rest of her days, but at least she still existed... and that is better than nothing... Heck, life as a cat might not even be that bad...  Snowflake braces herself as Destiny plops down onto the couch and lies down for a quick nap.  Taking advantage of the opportunity, Snowflake slowly  makes her way up to Destiny's breasts and rests her head atop one of the fleshy mounds.  Shutting her eyes, she has one last thought before drifting off to sleep in complete comfort...  "Yep, life is good!"
Well... sorry for my absence... AGAIN... But hey, it's a new story! So you are just all going to have to forgive me... or something... This is a little different than anything I've done before... Anyways, worked quite hard on this one... for a very long time... So I hope you all really enjoy it! As always, thanks for reading! You guys rock
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nobodyofdistinction Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2015
Sigh. Wow. A great and interesting premise. But the problem with all your stories without exception is that all the characters themselves make Beavis and Butthead look like geniuses. You need to come up with a better deus ex machina to drive the story forward than abject stupidity. That is by far your greatest weakness, it's the common theme to all of them that I read. Especially abject stupidity in a character which otherwise would have to be a genius based on other requirements of the story, like the sister who is a genetic scientist who mutilates her brother with a transformation potion which she THINKS is easily reversible but actually isn't, after he complains about her always using the bathroom for vast amounts of time. Not to mention, who would trust someone as abysmally stupid as John (back to this story) with such a dangerous device? Does this inventor also invent doomsday devices and then raffle them off or maybe just leave them around for random passersby to find along with an instruction booklet or maybe just a post-it note stuck to it that says "don't press the big flashing red button, it'll destroy the Earth"? It also bothers me that at the end, John apparently bears some resentment to Sarah. That doesn't make any sense. He shouldn't pee on her, he should be all affectionate with her, for this is the girl he saved after he was the one to put her in danger in the first place, he should be proud that at least he undid one mistake and that she is the living proof. And I also don't like that they sacrificed the kitten's life for his. Granted cats are killed all the time at cat shelters and by adopting one cat and removing her as an option for adoption for someone else, they probably saved another one who would have been put to death otherwise and will instead be adopted, but there ought to be a nicer way to do that, some better safeguards into the machine. Like maybe if someone consumes a crystal, they ALWAYS spit out a new one storing the being that was displaced, and if you throw a crystal into a big bubbling vat of active yeast, either their original body or a duplicate of their last one is cultured and crawls out gasping and covered in yeast goo, and if someone gets PARTIALLY consumed by the device, they can regenerate either by eating the food it produces OR by jumping into the yeast vat. That way it's all right if someone else eats the food instead of them. (What would happen if I turned my right arm into food with the machine, and then someone else ate the food, would they grow a 3rd arm, or would my arm replace their existing right arm? Based on the story it seems to be the latter. That's why the 3rd rule is essential too.) Add those 3 rules in, and the only way you could kill or permanently harm anything with the device is by turning them into a crystal and then shattering the crystal, or to PARTIALLY consume that person's brain with the machine (ostensibly it's when the brain is consumed that the crystal is formed) and it would also give the machine some more potential uses, like saving someone who is just about to die of a terminal disease but with the side effect of that person and the person who saved that person physically ending up as identical twins, or replacing parts of yours with parts of a different being. THAT would be a worthy story on its own, and it wouldn't require the character to be stupid to generate a plot. Man saves wife's life when she's mortally wounded, but now his wife's his bro and she doesn't want to go back to being a woman, she wants HIM to become a woman instead, but he doesn't want that. Uh oh! Want your exactly 3 and a half foot long cat tail? That's a tall order, that's actually longer than any of them have I think. Maybe a particularly large snow leopard. So get yourself a tame snow leopard with an unusually long tail, take its tail, give it a bath in some yeast, kitty is annoyed but no lasting hard feelings, and then pass it on to your friends, no need to put the cat through that ordeal again, you can do it to yourself and regenerate it with the yeast bath and then go to your friends and be like "Here, eat this sub sandwich and you'll grow a tail like mine". Ta daa! OR, put a cat in a HUMAN'S body. Would having a 3 pound brain eventually give it a more advanced mind? For that matter, does a cat's one ounce brain really preserve a human soul in its entirety? Probably, or at least there's so much worthless stuff that could be thrown out (and it's probably not nearly filled to capacity either, though the "we use 5% of our brains" thing is an old wives myth) that it could at least store the important bits, but there'd have to be some point where it fails, if not a cat, maybe an armadillo, or a mouse. So add in a 4th rule that the crystal won't dissolve in the mouth of a being that can't contain it. But there could be borderline cases.
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2015
Wow what a critique! Thank You! I'll read it in detail when I have the chance, but in the case of you are who you eat, the story is about emotion. The greater details being if you were in the wife's shoes, what would you do? If you were out in the husband's shoes, what is the correct morality after making the mistake?
nobodyofdistinction Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015
You live!

I do have a tendency to yammer. Or ramble. Or rant. Actually I'm quite surprised you replied. I was assuming those words would never be read and that this was a dead account. Your last submission was the start of 2012 after all.

Interesting thought experiment. If I was in the wife's shoes what would I do? Oh, how about trying to contact the manufacturer/inventor to see if there was a safeguard like my yeast bath idea? Certainly not walk up to the neighbor and handle talking to him so ineptly and react so badly that I end up MURDERING him to avoid an awkward conversation. If I was in the husband's shoes, well, there's the question of at what POINT do I start being in his shoes? After he annihilates the cat's body? Or after he becomes the cat (which led directly to becoming the girl, since that was done by actions that were not in his control)? If I had been in his shoes from the beginning of the story, of course, I'd have never done the remarkably stupid thing he did in the first place, and the question would be moot. I'd probably perform experiments with the device with mice. I wouldn't even have ground up my own limbs and eaten the food without having a thorough understanding of the behavior of the device. Now if I were to quantum leap into his body right after the cat was consumed (of course I'd utter the iconic words "oh boy"), but before I ate the food and became the cat, I'd try to contact the manufacturer of course. What the HELL is the possible advantage to becoming the cat? Doesn't anyone have the idea of going to an animal shelter and trying to find a cat that looks exactly the same any more? It would be EASY to do THAT, just feed that animal the food the cat was turned into, and it wouldn't even have to be a cat! You could adopt ANY animal at a shelter and feed it the food and presto. Why would I have to become the cat to replace it when an actual cat (or a dog) could fill that role? The neighbor would notice a personality change of course, and this would be a mystery to the neighbors, but lacking a solution for fixing the problem, it would be better for them to not know the truth. That is to say, if I'd already turned the cat into food, and contacted the manufacturer and determined there was no yeastlike solution. As to what to do with the soul of the original cat, the crystal, assuming the manufacturer didn't have an easy way out, just hold onto it, wait for another invention to be invented at some point that would allow the cat to live again without stealing the body of another living thing but regret what has been done in the meantime. OR feed the crystal to a horrible, horrible person who deserves to die. Like the wife. After she shows her true colors, of course. By then he didn't know. But other than that, just wait. No harm in that. Assuming the crystal doesn't decompose over time or something, you could wait indefinitely. If I was already the cat and then the girl and fighting the psychopathic wife, that's a tough one. By then he was totally up sh*t's creek. By then there was not a whole lot he could do that would have been different from as you wrote it. Again, try to talk the wife into trying to contact the inventor and see if there's any way out.
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015
Wow, okay all great points!  Honestly, I guess my stories here are just kinda for fun...  I try to give my characters some kind of personality, put them in awkward situations, and see how they react.  Yes, the set up to the awkwardness may be a bit clunky (thank you for pointing that out), but it's really about witnessing and enjoying reading about the actions of the characters afterwords.  Also, maybe putting yourself into same said stupid situation and picturing how it might play.  Again, I kinda go for weird in my stuff... I like to mix it up.  Overall though, I hope you enjoyed the read!  Maybe I can get back into it after I get this crap done...  If I do I'll try and let you know (although you may want to be on my watch list so I can find you again).  Thanks for taking all the time to help and explain!  Look forward to further conversations about it
nobodyofdistinction Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015
Yes, that's it. That's the answer. Obviously. Find any non-sentient life-form. Like leave the food around, wait for a fly to land on it. The fly starts to turn physically into the cat as it eats the food, and then once it's done, stuff the crystal into its mouth and you have the cat in both mind and body again. Not quite as good as the yeast thing, but as a solution it has many of the same properties.
ender2864 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's really good but I had to read it a couple times to figure out who was who by the end
ShadowFrost1 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
It started off easy and a bit humorous. But rapidly turned dark. Guess the dad is dead. Either way a really nice story. Liked the ending too
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
That's how most of my stuff works!  The darkness comes from exploring what my characters might do from a morality standpoint when faced with such things...  It's supposed to make a reader think, "What would I do?..."  It's also supposed to be fun, original, slightly funny, and entertaining...  It's just how my style works!  Thanks for the comment!  And yes, the dad, and the wife are both dead. 
Felix0715 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
You are a great writer! Love the story!
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
Wow, thank you!  That's quite the compliment.  I'm currently finishing the lead story for my new profile that I haven't quite created yet.  I always appreciate feedback!  Thank you for reading, and best of luck with your own writing endeavors!
Newkerman Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
A bit... Dark... And disgusting
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Is that a good thing? I was going for something a bit different with characters succumbing and changing their morality due to their situations and pressure. Hopefully you enjoyed it! :/
Newkerman Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
It kinda bordered on canniblism for me and kinda creepy only thing I enjoyed was the catgirl part.
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
Well,i think you are missing the point of the story... It's not really about cannibalism or cat girls, it's a metaphor about the lengths some characters will go to to regain some resemblance of their former lives, even if it means destroying someone else's. Much like the wife, while the husband was content the wife was willing to kill just to become female and beautiful again. It also puts the husband in a bind on who's side to choose. The cannibalism was supposed to be a bit gruesome to show the severity of the actions and decisions. Hope that makes sense
oh-wow12 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
Matt Wilson became Mark Wilson, did you notice?
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
...should of checked your gender BEFORE saying "thanks man..." lol sorry about that...
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
Not until now! lol Whoops... Thanks man!
rjtheslayer Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
very cool
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
I try... :) Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. Comments mean a lot to me
Wingmaster185 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hehehehe... Yes. I need that machine and sarah the cat girl
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
I'm right there with ya man! lol You find one, let me know... John broke the only one I know of...
Wingmaster185 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Sure will! No problem! I'll check back in with you when they are invented k?
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2012
Haha, sounds good to me!
jdent Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
bizarre concept... but, heck, i enjoyed it! well done.
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
Haha, most of my concepts are bizarre... It's what I do! Awesome that you enjoyed it, thanks for the feedback!
SHarles25 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
noce to have you back, I truly enjoyed the story and seen no mistakes at all ;)
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
Glad to see you are still around as well! Good to know people still read this craziness that I unleash upon the internet... lol Hopefully, more is still to come... I have idea all lines up, I just have to put them on paper... which takes me FOREVER...
SHarles25 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
art isn't something we command, it's more like trying to catch butterflies
When you get one, you know what to do ;)
When you don't find any, you have to go and look far far away from where you was looking.
either way you already know the only variable you can rely on is yourself.
Happy new year btw!
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
Haha, Sometimes I wish I could beat said butteflies into commission... Or at least tie them up, starve them, and force them to do all the typing for me... lol Happy new year to you too!
SHarles25 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
well, it's rare a butterfly go strait in a net by itself ;)
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
Haha, true that! I think its time for me to force some more to do my bidding... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
JanusDaDefender Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's great to have you back, Samus.
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
Good to be back! I have a lot of reading and writing to catch up on... lol Thanks for the continued support!
seadog-driftwood Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
Agreed (w/ Jonesycat79's comment)!

It's interesting to see Lisa's descent into depravity. She got what was coming to her, though!
An alll around excellent short story.
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
Thanks a lot! Always appreciate new feedback! Thanks for reading, it's what keeps me writing.
Jonesycat79 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Great story buddy! The black comedy ir really spot on and reminds me in tone of Roald Dahl's mature shorts while still maintaining the perks associated with most of your stories. Plus it feels familiar and original at once. Great way to start the year off!
SamusEmblem Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
Hey thanks! That's uh... quite the compliment :) Glad you enjoyed it, cause I really wasn't sure how this was going to go over... lol Thanks again!
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